So it has come to my understanding that this life is somewhat not wired to meet my demands. I have become impatient, I want my white picket fence and mowed lawn. Oh! Don't forget the dog and kids, who wouldn't want those; I mean, isn't that what life is all about? My biology lecturer made it very clear that our sole biological purpose "is to pass on our genes". If only he knew how hard it was for me to attract my sperm donor. That's who he will be; I have accepted that the fairytale is not mine to claim but to marvel as my friends get hitched and hook up with beings of the opposite sex. Man, if I had a dollar for every shitty fantasy I willfully indulged my heart and soul into I would be a trillion times richer. Every tall guy I see, I picture getting married to and calculating when and how we would pop each one out. I have run of patience. Is it wrong of me to feel this way? Am I the only one who longs and craves for love? Some would say it's God I was longing for. Tell me this: how long does it take for Him to answer my cry for help if it's His love I am longing for? Another thing I have to point out is that a very young girl from my class recently got married to a man who looks old enough to be her dad. This gives me the chills. If she can go for such a man, then where does that leave me? Where is my life headed? Why is it hard for me and why now? These are questions I will never get answered but I have to ask because my heart feels unsettled.
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